Suck ass jobs and bullshit people

So I had to take a job because there was no income at all. U/I bene's had stopped and I was broke! This job is a piece of shit! I'm a freakin plumbing dispatcher and that is not me. Not only that but I'm only gettin paid like $11 an hour that is a $7 pay decrease and a slap in the face of what my abilities are!! I have been tryin like crazy to get interviews at other places, I put about 50 resumes out a day on CL and careerbuilder and I'm with 3 freakin agencies who do absolutely nothing!!! I come to this shit ass job because I have to, not because there is any love for this...and because it's a family run biz we only get paid when they have the money to pay us!! I'm miserable!! Financially strapped mentally and emotionally drained and I'm tryin so hard to keep it together! Today I just feel like gettin up and walkin out, but I can't do that because I need some kinda money comin in. 
I need a savior, a "real" freakin job that is in my area, where I can do what I do best! not this plumbing shite!!!

Unit 8 post

This blog post was supposed to have me choose between the exercises I did over the past two weeks, that is hard because they are both very good in themselves. I have been using these forms of relaxation methods for so long that they have become second nature to me. I try to do them at least once a day, whether it is when I feel I'm becoming stressed or just before bed to help me sleep. In talking with my friends I try to exude the loving kindness attitudes and positive energies that will help them thru their days as well. I know a few friends who can really benefit from this. I do share these exercises with them.

I know I will continue to do these exercises the rest of my life because they keep me balanced and focused. 

Aesclepius Unit 7

I began this exercise visualizing my mother in law as she was the nicest, most good hearted individual you could ever meet. I remembered how right after her passing my ex and I saw her walking in the street, it was an amazing thing. There was this glow about her and although we both knew she had gone on to a better place, there she was. My daughter also saw her sitting at the foot of her bed one night, so I know she is always with us. With these thoughts in mind I was able to fully transform my emotions and relax to a more peaceful state of consciousness.

I believe one must practice what they preach, in other words know, experience and understand what you say and do before trying to help others. It is important to have experience in healing, do your research, be part of the exercises and just train yourself to know what it is you want to do to help others to heal. You cannot heal if you are not healed yourself. 

In my Kaballa readings one must fully allow the light and love to shine from themselves in order to allow the light and love to shine to others.

Unit 6

Sorry I missed this post earlier, life has gotten busy....running a show and filming for PBS has me all over the place. I am not in a stressful place though, this has been an amazing journey for me, I have never done any work on film so this new experience has given me a new outlook on where I would like to be in the future.

I keep up my work on my meditation, breathing and staying focused, I have been providing loving kindness to my new friends and old friends as well. It is actually very rewarding to know I can help someone stay calm in the face of a stressful life. This is satisfaction at it's best!!!

Unit 5 The Subtle Mind

I found this exercise to be very helpful to me, as I use it most nights before I go to sleep. I am aware that turning off my mind sometimes is like a chore, and even when I try it just doesn't stop. But with the breathing exercises I can stay focused on my breath and the sound of my own heartbeat and I know it will help me to relax my mind and get to sleep.

This is one exercise I have been doing on my own for many years now, I had a weird insomnia, I cannot go to bed before midnight even if I have to wake up at 6 AM because I found that I would go to sleep, have a dream (REM) and then be wide away about a half hour later. If I wait to sleep at like 1AM I sleep thru the night. With the breathing exercises I find that I can actually go to bed at 11:30 and sleep pretty much thru the night without waking up. It has really helped me.

Unit 4 Blog - Loving Kindness

Describe your experience. Did you find it beneficial? Difficult? Why or why not? Would you recommend this to others? Why or why not?

I actually found this exercise to be very insightful and helpful. I can really understand what it means to love others over ourselves, it is so important to love and help others in order to actually be loved in return. I read this book a long time ago (part of the many things I was reading back then, I'm into the Kabbala) in any case, it says that in order for you to allow love into your heart you must be able to love yourself and give of yourself unselfishly. It's an awesome way to think and I follow this train of thought in every thing I do and with every one I meet.

 What is the concept of "mental workout"? What does the research indicate are the proven benefits of a mental workout? How can you implement mental workouts to foster your psychological health?

To me, the word “Mental Workout” itself implies exercising the mind or working the mind to be healthy.  According to Dacher (2006) “Mental Workout” means utilizing contemplative practices to help tame the mind’s constant mental activities and train it along with opening one’s heart, expanding consciousness, and progressing towards psychospirtual flourishing.  The goal is for progressive development of an expanded consciousness and healing within the mind, body, and spirit.  There are two contemplative practices; they are loving-kindness and subtle mind. 

Dacher (2006) explains through the contemplative practice of loving-kindness, an individual will be able to open their hearts to others and slowly reduce their selfishness so they can grow towards the development of psychospiritual flourishing.  The contemplative practice of the subtle mind addresses three levels that opens the mind and reveals insightful wisdom of truth of life and existence.  Research indicates the proven benefits of a mental work out results in awareness and experiences of the mind and its many levels and capacities in healing and the development of the qualities of human flourishing which are health, happiness, and wholeness.

So in order for me to implement mental workouts to foster my psychological health, I would need to devote at least one hour a day of my time and effort towards incorporating one of the contemplative practices of either loving-kindness or subtle mind.   By doing so, I could feel calm and at peace with myself and I can proceed with benefiting good health, happiness, and wholeness within myself.

Ok so today at work I feel like such a jerk!!! I messed up on 3 files and got called out on it....this sux....I'm trying to take that minute to tell myself it is what it is and just take my time later to get it right. But I still feel so stupid and angry at myself for messing up...Plus I now get to sit here in this guys (my boss) house while he is here all freakin day and feel stupid.....ARGHHHHHH